Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Syrian Ambassador Expelled

That'll teach him.

There is no truth in the rumour that the Foreign Secretary also gave him a Chinese burn.

Red Tape. Business Definition: A Law I Don't Like.

You can apply the generalised term 'red tape' to anything you like. Most people apply it to some thing they don't like. At the moment businesses are using it as an excuse to destroy the hard earned rights of workers. Apparently people are scared to employ people because of the 'red tape.' They can't grow their businesses. I say they speak b******t. It wasn't so hard  for businesses to grow and expand in the early part of the last decade when times were buoyant. Businesses weren't scared to employ then. Yet the employment laws were no different. What are these businesses going to do?Because they are so frightened to employ are they going to let the business go into liquidation. Either they need extra staff or they don't. Surely if the business is doing so well that they need to expand the workforce then the staff must be doing something right.If they have difficulty employing good staff then they should look at their recruitment procedure and training methods. Instead they use 'fear of employing'  as a cover to drive down wages, reduce workers rights and attempt to scare the workforce into supplication because they realise that they have a compliant government that may only be there for another 3 years.

The Donkey Sanctuary


I often hear comments about The Donkey Sanctuary and how the number of donations they receive is somehow a signifier for the collapse of civilisation. It is often used in conjunction with disparaging comments about how people would rather give money to donkeys  than to a children's charity as if that is the reason for the plight of children in this country. A country that is one of the richest in the world. Where multi million pound bonuses are paid to bankers. Where 20yr old's earn millions for kicking a ball around. A  country that can afford to spend 11bn on a sports competition. Yet apparently the plight of children in this country is down to a little old lady in Brighton because she gives a fiver a month to The Donkey Sanctuary. The people that complain rarely have any knowledge of the work the sanctuary does across the world and how it helps thousands of people to care for their donkeys which in turn allows them to earn a living, feed and support their families.Yet these people would happily shell out ten grand on a car or go on an expensive holiday 2 or 3 times a year when if they were so concerned about children they could buy a cheaper car or forego one of the holidays and donate the money to a charity of their choice. But these people rarely have that level of self awareness. A lot of them are pretty stupid.

Cameron's Arrogant Braying.


The Prime Minister let his mask slip again during PMQ,s when he called Ed Balls 'a muttering idiot'. The two dislike each other intensely. The hatred, and I don't think that is too strong a word, began when they both studied Philosophy, Politics and Economics at the same time at Oxford. Unfortunately for Cameron, Ed Balls came out with the better degree, and has been baiting him relentlessly since they both came into Politics. Balls knows he can wind Cameron up and never loses an opportunity to do just that. Cameron falls for it every time and reinforces the view that he is just another arrogant braying posh Tory boy who wishes he could horsewhip Balls down the Strand, Oh for 1800's, you can see him thinking.Whilst Ball sits back with a smug grin on his face. Job done.

Votes For Prisoners


Cameron says that the thought of Prisoners being allowed to vote disgusts him. This gets the Tories on the backbenches whooping and a'hollering as he tries to act tough. But looking tough doesn't suit him. Likewise when he is involved in any type of exertion like running or playing tennis he looks like someone from middle management on a company picnic. It looks odd and out of place. If he is a Progressive Conservative, as he claims, then I would have thought he would have wanted to encourage the involvement of all parts of society in Politics. I can understand not given the vote to lifers or people on long sentences but surely as part of their rehabilitation, prisoners that are going to be released during the term of a newly elected parliament, should be encouraged to engage and have a say in the society they are about to re-enter. Prison is about justice not vengeance.

Will.i.am. U.R. a T.oo.L.


The grammatically challenged member of The Black Eyed Peas took part in the Torch relay in Taunton, why in Taunton? I have no idea. When he completed his leg he apparently twitted/twittered/tweetered/twittereeted 'thank you Coca Cola for this marvelous opportunity'. Now, I have to be honest, when I heard about this obviously heartfelt tweetereetitterd and how he had bared his soul to the world in thanking one of the 'Games Worldwide Partners' I started to well up. I know there are some who may think that a 'celeb' had used a symbolic Olympic tradition introduced by the Nazi's for the 1936 Berlin Olympics as nothing more than a marketing exercise. I say NO! How dare you, you philistines. This was a sacred ceremony undertaken by a deep thinking soulful grammatically challenge renaissance man who just wanted to tell the world that if they ever fancy a fizzy, sugary caramel based drink there's a company called Coca Cola that sell them.All quite innocent. He did not,I tell you, debased this sacred Nazi inspired ceremony for an extra buck.

Coca Cola. Chock full Of Irony.


When Coca Cola heard about the buying and selling of the Olympic Torches they apparently were dismayed that the 'taint of commerce' had been introduced into the ceremony.When Coca Cola heard about the buying and selling of the Olympic Torches they apparently were dismayed that the 'taint of commerce' had been introduced into the ceremony.When Coca Cola heard about the buying and selling of the Olympic Torches they apparently were dismayed that the 'taint of commerce' had been introduced into the ceremony.
I've written it three times.I've read it three times. But yet. Hold on, Coca cola said that....... no, there's something not right here...............what is it?.............nope can't see it.............when Coca Cola heard...............Oh, I give up. I feel like a lipsmackingthirstquenching Pepsi.

Why didn't they just auction the bloody things of anyway. They could have donated the money to cancer research. Or another charity. Perhaps a charity that cares for mistreated donkeys.





















Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Disgusting Tories.

Disgusting Tories


I'ts not enough for the Tories to demonise the poor and vulnerable, destroy the opportunities of children by closing Surestart, rip money from the hands of the disabled, casting them into a twilight world of hopelessness and desperation while giving the wealthy, including themselves, a massive tax bonus. Now they want to regress back to Victorian times when a boss could toss someone they took a dislike to out onto the street without having to justify their actions. I can see the scenarios now. A young keen employee with new ideas starts showing the boss up for the timeserver everybody knows he is. The next thing you know the young keen employee is out on his ear. Replaced by a mediocre employee who knows his place and only speaks when he is spoken to. That scenario is bad enough and demonstrates how this policy will kill enthusiasm and any entrepreneurial spirit within the workplace but also the fired worker now has no reference and no prospect of getting another job. After all, who is going to employ someone who was fired from their previous employment and can't give a reason why. What about this extremely likely scenario. Line manager takes a shine to one of his colleagues and starts to sexually harass the colleague pointing out that unless he/she accedes to their advances this time tomorrow they will be out of a job with no chance of getting another. What a lovely world the Tories want to create. A return to the days of the Lord of the Manor. When you could horsewhip a peasant on a whim or the young master could have his way with the scullery maid knowing that the only repercussions could be they may have to find another scullery maid.

Returning British society to the Victorian era is a recurring wet dream for most Tory MP's. Some aspects of that era were positive but you only have to read Dickens to know what a desperately grinding, fear ridden and poverty stricken existence it was for the majority of the population. The only people who had a decent quality of life were the top 10% of society. Everybody else were seen as nothing more than a resource to be used to make money for the 10%. And that is the aim of the Tory boys and girls. To make 2014 just like 1840. Except this bunch of  40 year old reactionary juveniles have one vital ingredient missing. Enlightenment. Instead all they have is hate. A hatred of anybody different to them. Anybody who does not think like them. They hate the NHS. They go private. They hate the education system. They were educated privately. They hate the Welfare State. They hate the BBC. It's full of commies. And they hate the Liberal Democrats because they are spoiling their chance of returning this land to the days of Victoria.Where the ruling class held sway across the land with impunity but without responsibility or accountability to the people.

So don't fall for the 'call me Dave' spin. It's bullshit. They want a 'call me Sir' society.

The International sports day occurring quite soon.


You can't call it the '0221 Osycpmli' because we now live in a land where multi-national corporations decide  which parts of the English vocabulary you can and cannot use. If you transgress you will be prosecuted..I think that during the( it sounds a bit like a brand of camera) the Prime Minister will be replaced by the Coca Cola CEO and the Leader of the Opposition will be the CEO of Pepsi. It reminds me of the song 'In the year 2525' by Zager and Evans. One of the lyrics is as follows
"everything you think and say is in the pill you took today"
I think those lyrics might be part of the Tory mission statement for 2016 onward.

I do genuinely hope the ( a well known roadside eaterie has a breakfast named after them) goes well because the majority of people competing are involved for the right reasons. I do however object to seeing David Beckham's grinning fizzog all over the papers. What professional football, or tennis for that matter, has to do with the (def: massive, very large proportions) I cannot fathom.These are incredibly rich sports which do not need the exposure of the (sporting competition where the ideals are run faster, jump higher, throw further ). If these sports are to be involved then select competitors from the amateur ranks not zillionaires who are, in my opinion, only involved for self aggrandising reasons.

The £$&*%$£&* Torch


I did hear, although I'm sure it can't be accurate, that the Olympic( oh no,that's dunnit) Organising Committee were grateful that the Torches procession through Cornwall was incident free. Rumours had been circulating that  there were still some places in Cornwall where fire has yet to be invented and that some of the locals may have been panicked when they saw the runner with the magic burning arm held aloft.

Also there has been apparent consternation ( mainly Mail and Times readers I think) with some people who are buying the torch they ran with and then flogging it on ebay. I thought we were living in a free market economy where everything has a price. These people should be applauded for sacrificing the high ideals of the Olympic(sorry I'm losing the will) movement on the altar of free market capitalism and making a few bucks.














Friday, 11 May 2012

Halal Meat. Unacceptable Practices

The slaughter of animals for halal meat without stunning is disgusting. Why anybody would consider it acceptable to inflict on a sentient being such a brutal and barbaric death is uncivilised and inhuman. The people performing the slaughter and those who accept it disgust me. Before you leap in and accuse me of Islamaphobia I will make it clear that I do not care which religion encourages this practice. I couldn't care if it was the bloody Jedi religion. I would still consider the people condoning this abhorrent practice as disgusting,inhuman,uncivilised,sub-human,barbaric scum.


Boris Johnson. A lot of fuss about nothing.


We are being regaled at the moment about Johnson's victory in the London elections for mayor as if it was some sought of tactical miracle. The truth is that the moment people were made aware of Ken Livingstone's tax arrangements Livingstone was dead in the water. The fact that it was so close is more of a miracle. And besides, looking at it as an outsider, it appears that the Mayor's main responsibility is to ensure the buses and trains run on time and that not to many Boris Bikes get stolen ( that idea wasn't even Johnson's, it was Livingstone's ). If Johnson had been involved in the current governments cock-ups and he was considered responsible for the fuel mess, The NHS horlicks, Levenson/Murdoch, the granny tax, the forced work programme, the pasty tax, the charitable giving fiasco, the pasty tax, reducing taxes for the wealthy while reducing benefits for the disabled, the church tax, Jeremy Hunt appearing to act as if he was on News International's payroll rather than the British tax payer's and the ongoing demonisation of teachers then the miracle would have been that he got any votes at all. So lets keep it in perspective and stop treating the win as if it was a 21st century equivalent to the Normandy landings.

 If he runs next time he will lose.

Roy Hodgson.

Congratulations to Roy Hodgson on being appointed England Manager. He is an excellent choice because he has a proven track record in getting the best out of mediocre talent and if there is one thing the England team has in abundance it is mediocre talent. I think Roy will break the hearts of all those tabloid hacks who threw a hissy fit when the Football Association didn't chose 'our 'arry', and win the Euros. Probably beating Spain in the final 6-0. Congratulations in particular go to the Sun/ News International for demonstrating that even if you do suffer from arrested development you can still get a job writing for a rag.

David Cameron's evil twin.


I often hear and read that David Cameron is a well grounded , decent, caring and progressive politician with the best interests of the nation at heart. Fair enough. But who then is that arrogant, sexist, misogynistic, ageist, patronising posh boy with an obvious nasty streak who keeps popping up at the dispatch box during PMQ's. Security!!!


Tuesday, 1 May 2012

It's an Olympic party. But your not invited.

It's an Olympic party. But your not invited. Well you are but on sufferance. Don't get any ideas above your station. Your main purpose is to legitimise and validate what is really a massive beano for self important politicians, 'celebs', ex-athletes who see the Olympics as a revenue generator and massive corporations.

You are there so that if someone should have the temerity to pose the question ' why are we spending 11bn on a glorified sports day when people with disabilities are losing £100 per week because some medical corporation claims they can stand upright for a minute.They can say, 'but look at the plebs, the're having such fun'.

That company by the way is Atos who happen to be one of the Games 'worldwide partners'. Which means while you are sat in gridlock, some fat exec from Atos can whoosh past you in one of the 'games lanes' feeling smug and special.

You only have to listen to Lord Coe for a minute before you detect the underlying hatred he has for anybody who dares to raise any opposition. He is obviously a big fan of patronage. After all he is a lord, not because of his breakthroughs in medical science or his charity work for the underprivileged but, I presume, because he could run quite fast and he was or still is William Hague's judo companion. That's not a euphemism by the way. They enjoyed wrestling each other.

Of course the main concern about the Olympics is not so much the politicos and celebs fiddling while the nation burns but the incineration of civil liberties a long the way. The Olympics are nothing more than a blanket cover for legitimised corporate fascism. Creating a world where you are told where to go(stay out of that lane, scum). what to do(you can't take photos sir, delete those photos now! smash,tinkle).and what you can eat and drink. I did hear a rumour that the missiles situated on the block of flats are there not to take out a hi-jacked airliner but in case somebody came into view swigging from a can of Pepsi.Of course the main civil liberty to be stomped on is the right to peacefully protest.Even to the point where police can enter your property and remove any dissenting material without a warrant. God forbid anybody who should decide to wander through Bow attempting to raise concerns about the cost of the Olympics.The Police Tactical Assault Groups would have a field day.  In fact if you dare to attempt to peacefully protest while drinking from a can of Pepsi and eating a Burger king I would say your lifespan will be severely reduced. But even after the missile strikes I'm sure Atos will deem you capable of work.

Lords Reform


A simple solution to the House of Lords. Abolish it.

Pippa Middleton


What a contrast between Claire Squires, The London Marathon fatality, a caring hard working person who was concerned about the plight of others and an advert for everything that is good about the human condition and Pippa Middleton, the vacuous, shallow and moronic bimbo who is busy enriching herself whilst having no discernible talent.

A Warning to the Tories.


The Welfare State is a marvelous construct. It allows people to live lives that otherwise would be nothing but bone grinding drudgery and poverty. It frees people. What it also does is serve as a sedative for the nation. The Tories aim is to dismantle the Welfare State because they hate it. They relate it Socialism. It's the same reason they hate the NHS and why they want to dismantle that as well. If they are allowed to succeed they will reap the whirlwind. The Welfare State acts as a sedative for the people. It placates them. No matter how bad times get they know they have a safety net. If you remove that safety net then people will have nothing to lose. They will view expense scandals, bankers bonuses, political corruption, tax cuts for the rich, police brutality and financial malpractice in a much darker light. People will want justice. They will not look to the normal institutions to impart that justice because they will not trust those institutions. They will view them as corrupt and self interested. They will impart that justice themselves abiding by the maxim. 'If you want something done right, then do it yourself'. So my advice to the Tories is don't be so keen to take away the happy pills.It may make you very miserable indeed.