A letter of Complaint.

To: Police.
From: Some Members of Parliament. Past and present.

Dear Mr Plod.

We are very cross with you for stitching up our bestest buddy Andy ‘pleb’ Mitchell. We are quite happy to stay silent over the hundreds of deaths that occur in custody and which never lead to any police officer being found guilty by the Independent Police Complaints Commission and ending up doing a long stretch up at the big house. We were content to be complicit in the tarnishing of 96 football supporters who died at Hillsborough. Changing all those statements and perverting the course of justice didn’t really bother us, after all Maggie Thatcher was a super girl and none of us has been screaming for any police officers to be brought to justice have we? All those shenanigans at Orgreave, during the miners’ strike, where police beat up miners and falsely arrested many, and was really just an ideologically driven class war by the state. Did we complain? We never raised a peep when that foreign chappie, was he Chilean? Charles De Menezes had his brains blown out in a tube station and the police  brazenly lied to the public and tried to say he was a terrorist when , in fact , he was a painter and decorator. Still no police officer was punished for his murder but like we said, he was only a Uruguayan. We are not really bothered that a paper seller, seen by millions across the world, can be assaulted and killed by a police officer at the G20 and the copper is allowed to retire on his taxpayer funded police pension, remember when the police officers, when they were attending to the dying Mr Tomlinson, lied about being under attack from flying bottles, bloody camera phones. The only time we ever said anything about the way you continually let Jimmy Savile get away with his crimes was when we saw it as a chance to give the BBC a good kicking. And what about the time you fitted up the Birmingham Six and the Guildford Four, or when you shot that man because you said you thought the chair leg he was carrying was a gun or the time one of you brave boys in blue tazered that blind sixty three year old man. We all laughed when you claimed his white stick was a shot gun.

As you can see, there have been loads of instances where the police have murdered, perverted the course of justice, broken the law and abused the civil rights of law abiding citizens and instead of doing our jobs, as Members of Parliament and representatives of the British public, by bringing you to account, we haven’t raised a squeak of complaint. It really is beyond the pale.We allow you to roam the land, without any consequences, like a government sponsored militia, unchecked, and all we expect you to do is protect the interests of the ruling elite. Is that so much to ask?

So we are sure you can appreciate how cross we are at your nasty treatment of Mr Mitchell, or as we now call him ‘the plebmeister’. We understand that any member of the public who abused a police officer, would have been thrown to the ground and hand cuffed before being tossed in the back of a police van and spent a night in the cells, when Mr Mitchell was excused his behaviour and allowed to cycle away on a womans bicycle and spend the evening at The Garrick Club. But we are MP’s, haven’t you read about the expenses scandal? We’re allowed to break the law and get away with it.

So we want to know why you are picking on one of our own. It’s not fair. Anybody would think you had an axe to grind. We are on the same side, don’t you know. That’s the deal isn’t? You leave us alone to enrich ourselves through public office and we leave you alone to do whatever you bloody well feel like, with impunity.  We insist you stop this silly game, say you’re sorry, and return to persecuting protecting the general public.

Yours sincerely.

A bunch of whiny self serving MP’s with self interest at their core.

P.S. We appreciate the level of hypocrisy contained within this letter will stick in the gullet of any right thinking individual, but we’re MP’s. We don’t care.

P.P.S., Hope to see you at the Freemasons Xmas Ball, should be super larks.