Shock! Horror! Brown faced Women Doesn't Know her Place.

Dateline: 7^th August 2014. Location: London.

Today the Tory party was rocked by a brown faced woman who dared to have a point of view. Several Tory politicians in the cabinet immediately assumed the foetal position, began sucking their thumbs and weeping, whilst calling for ‘nanny boo boo’, while others questioned who the women was and when told she was that uppity working class Asian women who kept banging on about people who were not white upper and middle class, privately educated, trust funders replied “ oh her, I thought she was just there to make it look as if we care about presenting an ethnically diverse party to the public. I didn't realise we were supposed to actually listen to her and take her concerns seriously”.

Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, (current Trust fund value approximately between 20-30 million. Current amount of Inheritance tax avoided approximately 2 million), immediately came out and slammed Baroness Warsi, inferring, in most of his interviews to the press, that she was a silly little women who should be grateful for even being allowed to look at him let alone speak to him. Prime Minister Cameron came out and said he respected Baroness Warsi for sticking to her principles and when he next saw her he would ask her what it was like sticking to your principles as he had never done it.

Phone-ins across the land were awash with men ringing in and accusing the Baroness of being a political opportunist, but still letting it be known that ‘they would if they had a chance’ before reassuring the phone-in host that they were not sexist or misogynistic in anyway and that they never ever casually objectified women in anyway whatsoever.

Some Asian men rang in to state that she did not represent their views in anyway because she was a woman, and that until today, they didn't realise that women even had views. One chap pointed out that he had seen Baroness Warsi on Question Time, disagreed with her strident views, and noticed that the little minx had allowed a strand of hair to escape from her headscarf.

The Tories main criticism of the Baroness appears to be that she is a married, working class Asian women from the north with responsibility for bringing up 5 children, so she obviously had no experience of real life whatsoever, before damning her by revealing the devastating fact that she went to a state school, therefore hinting at the possibility that she might be a communist.

The reason for Baroness Warsi's resignation from the cabinet was the government’s policy on Gaza and its close affiliations to Israel.Aha! Further proof that she must be a communist.

Boris Johnson.

Johnson has let it be known that he wants to become a Member of Parliament again. He doesn't seem to care where it is as the chances of him meeting any of his prospective constituents or having any involvement in any of their concerns or problems are extremely slim as he will be too  busy trying to become Prime Minster. Johnson’s main claims to fame at the moment are being a crap Mayor of London and having sex with women who happen not be his wife and producing offspring from these liaisons.

It is obvious that Johnson would make a fine Prime Minster because anybody who can betray his wife and family by committing adultery would obviously be an ideal candidate for dealing, without prejudice, with the interests of complete strangers.

The truth is Johnson is a self involved narcissist who cares about one thing and one thing only. Boris Johnson.

The Crimes of Iain Duncan Smith. 

Nick Barker – RIP
Former sheep farmer, Nick had a brain haemorrhage which left him struggling to walk. The father of two shot himself after the DWP claimed he was fit to work. Recording a suicide verdict, coroner Michael Oakley said the benefits assessment was key to the tragedy.

Robert Barlow – RIP
Robert worked as a Government scientist but gave it up when diagnosed with severe cardiomypathy. The DWP deemed him fit to work. He died penniless under 2 years later.

Cecilia Burns – RIP
Cecilia had cancer. Atos called her in for one of their assessments. The DWP declared her fit to work, but she appealed the decision. She died shortly after winning her appeal.

Chris Cann – RIP
After losing both legs & a finger to diabetes, Chris was housebound. Despite this, the DWP insisted he travelled outside and go in for one of their fit to work assessments or they would cut off his benefit. The letter shook Chris up badly. Despite the DWP changing their minds about him going in, he died of a suspected heart attack soon after.

Leanne Chambers – RIP
Leanne had a degree in business studies from Teeside University, but she battled depression for a number of years. She had taken a turn for the worse after receiving a letter telling her to go to Atos for one of their ‘fit to work’ assessments. Leanne walked out of her home some time after midnight. Her body was later found in the River Wear.

David Groves – RIP
David stopped work after 40 years on doctors orders after a string of strokes & a heart attack. Atos called him in for a fit to work assessment but he died the night before. His widow says he was in a terrible state and it was the stress that killed him.

Stephen Hill – RIP
Stephen suffered heart problems & was waiting for major heart surgery. Atos found him fit for work after a ten minute check. He died of a heart attack.

Edward Jacques – RIP
Edward fatally overdosed because he was not given a proper assessment by the DWP, an inquest heard.

Brian McArdle – RIP
Brian was paralysed down one side, paralysed in one eye, he couldn't speak. He died the day after being found fit to work by Atos.

Elenore Tatton – RIP
Elenore was diagnosed with a brain tumour at 15 years old. She also had epilepsy. The DWP said she was fit to work after one of their assessments. Two weeks later, she was dead.

(Courtesy of THEKODIAKBARE)

"Old men start wars. Young men die in them".